As I posted a while back, I’ve been away from this blog for some time while I was pregnant and giving birth to my son. Upon my return today to moderate some comments, I found one in particular that was very disturbing. I sent it immediately to the trash, but now wish I hadn’t so that I could share it here and publicly make my reply.
The reader asked by whose husband I was pregnant and expressed that if I am married, that she is sorry for my husband. If I am single, that it figures. (I assume that means I don’t deserve love.) She makes these accusations because I have stated that I am fascinated by Anne Boleyn and that because she is my “idol” I must be a whore like her.
First, let me say that I am always sad when people feel so emboldened by the anonymity of the Internet that they write horrible, trashy comments. This woman doesn’t know me or anything about my life, yet feels it proper to post nasty things on my blog.
Second, it brings up another issue that I have always felt was a pathetic representation of women in general: blaming the woman for the adulterous behavior of a man.
Now, in NO WAY do I believe Anne, or any woman involved with a married man, to be innocent. However, throughout history, women have a terrible knack for focusing on the other woman involved and accepting the man’s role in the indiscretions.
It’s very biblical. Men are tempted. Men are unable to make good decisions where women are involved because we have bewitched them. Men run the world and women are here to distract them.
It’s even worse that the harshest treatment comes from other women. Again, I don’t say that Katherine of Aragon had no right to hate Anne. She had every reason to despise the woman who was trying to steal her husband. And in the Tudor era, Katherine could not blame Henry outwardly or show anything but complete submission. But even those around the court blamed the affair on things like Anne being a witch and putting a spell on Henry just to absolve him of culpability!
Fine, that was 500 years ago. What about now? Why do we as a society, and specifically women, attack the female and not the male. In fact, many women will even forgive the man his dalliance and stay with him. In my opinion, it is just another avenue of denial. If it makes you feel better, honey, then so be it.
My “idolization” of Anne Boleyn stems not from her adulterous affair with the king (into which I feel she was pushed by the MEN in her life), but from her spirit, bravery, and intelligence. She was outspoken at a time when it was suicide for a woman to be so. And she would pay the price.
Suck on that.
